Wednesday, 16 April 2014

Is it hard to find a boyfriend (in Ljubljana)?

My new friend, a girl from Austria, asked me that. "Hmm.. Yes. But that's because I'm choosy." "That's good. It means you have standards." If I look back, I've met potential boyfriends on average every 1,5 years.

Our psychology professor at the faculty said that statistically speaking, the most stable relationships are those which develop from friendships. It's somehow logical to agree with that, because you know that people much better than you know those you meet in a club and who you soon start dating. But there's a catch: it has been said that while men only have one ladder-The real ladder, women have two ladders-also the friends ladder. A ladder is a rating system which everybody has and on which people of the opposite sex are positioned. The friends ladder consists of guys that we are not interested in and what is more important: in general, there is no jumping from the friends ladder to the real ladder.

I was discussing this Ladder Theory with my friend, a guy, and said: "Wait, what if out of nowhere I start feeling attracted to some guy that I have known for a long time and have never been interested in him before? That means that he "jumped" from my friends ladder to the real ladder?" "No, he didn't. He was on your real ladder the whole time, it's just that he was very low positioned." I have to say, that sounded interesting.

My girlfriend and I have always used to say that it's better to be quality alone, than in a low-quality relationship. There's a quote that I recall: "The smarter the woman is, the more difficult it is for her to find the right man." Lauren Bacall, an american actress and model, said that women always fall in love with the same type of a man. That this is our way of monogamy.

The thing is, that I've been fascinated by a man in the past. You know.."that something". When you could actually forget all the other guys and stay with him. So, what's the point of wanting something less than that?

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