Saturday, 23 July 2016

The best years

As long as I remember, I believed that the 20s are the best years in ones life. Parties, studying, no real obligations. This definitely changed this year. To be more particular, in June/July, soon after my 30th birthday. I somehow got a new perspective of life. Things, that were fuzzy not long ago, suddenly became clear. My perception of life changed, I know exactly what I want in life and what is really important.
Probably also living abroad since 2 years contributed a lot to this state of mind. In fact, all the experiences, people, challenges that life put on my way. All the job interviews, difficulties when trying to speak german on a level of your mother tounge. Not easy, especially when you have to talk to the professionals about the specific topics.
A feeling that you have never been stronger in your life and that you could survive anything. Literally. Abroad you are on your own, there are no "connections" or B Vitamin which is extremely popular in Slovenia. You have to be a fighter. And work hard. Work hard for things that were self-evident at home, which you reached easily. Like someone said already: you feel like a child, who is learning again how to express himself. And when already finding your way home in a new city is a challenge! New city, new country, hard language. Maybe even 2 new cities, because it can happen that your partner lives in another city. And again you have to coordinate, organise your life in a new dimension.

You get aware of your own value. The way you have gone. All the ups and downs. Life would for sure have been easier by staying in a comfort zone. I guess.
You are more than ever interested in the intelligent conversations. Conversations with the depth, about life, psychology, philosophy. Conversations that fulfill you.
You realize that your job is just a job. A duty, which you have to do on a daily basis to be able to survive. To be honest, I feel sorry for people whose sense of life is work. Shortly before dying, nobody regreted that they didn´t have a good house or car. People regreted that they worked too much and didn´t enjoy life and spend enough time with their beloved ones.
Family: when the visits reduce to 1 or 2 times per year, you see them differenlty. Seeing them is a special occasion, an extraordinary weekend, which always goes by too fast. Seeing your sister after almost one year for 24 hours makes you realize what a wise woman she became. And you talk til 1 a.m. because you have to discuss all the wisdom of the world :) You realize that family is the only constant which will always be there, though the members can be located in 3 countries. When things are not self-evident, you start to really value them.
You feel that you have stories to tell, lessons to forward on someone. Maybe on your (future) kids.
It all starts and ends with the family and with the feeling of coming home. Of being arrived. And if on the way you meet the guy of your life, you have everything. <3