Sunday, 7 August 2016

The feelings and relationships nowadays

The events in the last time and life in general made me think again. We live in the time of the so called crisis of values. Also when it comes to relationships. So many of them fall apart, because people just give up. Furthermore, I really think that every human being should have a basic knowledge about psychology! Because people nowadays so often complicate and destroy beautiful relationships just because they are not able to express and talk about their feelings. I had luck, I have to say. At the colledge I chose psychology as a subject. It was not just a subject, I am convinced I had one of the best professors in the world. She did not only had a PhD in  Law, but also a PhD in psychology. She could gave us an example from a real life for literally every sentence she mentioned. (if anyone is still doubting about the level of the slovenian colledges-let me tell you, they are on a high level!) And somehow I still have a feeling that I studied psychology and not law actually :) I remember, that I held a speech about feelings and this topic to some of my former boyfriends. And they have always listened to me with an interest :D

What is sad nowadays in my opinion is, that (so many) people are emotionally illiterate. By this I mean, that they do not know or are not able to express their feelings. People simply don´t know, that they will not feel the butterflies, or in other words-be on a honeymoon for their whole life. No, you for sure will not be! The first phase of a relationship is called infatuation. It is a short feeling, which normally lasts about 1,5 years and is very intense. After that, people develop the "real" feeling, which is called love. This phase is not intense anymore, because you see the other one through the "real" glasses and lasts long(er). This means, that some people think they don´t love their partner anymore, because the butterflies are gone. Yeah right! If it would have been so, then every couple would break up after the honeymoon phase! So, it is just the matter of if one is able to develop real feelings or not. This can happen after 1,5 years or after 25 years of marriage. It is sad in every case. Imagine a family with 3 children (more or less already adults), when all of a sudden the man decides that this is not love anymore. Like out of nowhere. Though you have 4 people, who would be prepared to discuss the situation, talk about it and nevertheless suggest and try to find solutions. But one is out of some reason just not prepared or even worse, able to talk about it. We are talking about people and relations here, not about things! And when it comes to problems and crisis, people just give up. Because it´s easy to give up. But they are not aware that crisis are only an opportunity to come stronger out of them. An opportunity to take things to a higher level! There are people, who, after facing some crisis, found out, that this is a relationship of their lives!!
Even harder, when one has knowledge about the topic and is willing to do his best, but there is just no feedback on the other side. And also the most beautiful fairytales in this world fall apart. Just like this, from today to tomorrow.
I read somewhere the following quote: "People were created to be loved. Things were created to be used. The reason why the world is in chaos is because things are being loved and people are being used." Maybe not exactly used, but really far away from it is not.
More readiness for a constructive discussion, please. We only have this one life, which is short!

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