Home sweet home

Last weekend I spent at home, after 7 months I was again in Slovenia. I know, way too long. Now I decided to go home more often! I believe everyone who has been living abroad for a longer time, knows this feeling when you cross the border and hear your language again. But this time I fell in love with our country on a totally different level. I was impressed by literally everything :) Drinking coffe on a cosy balcony of my friend vith the view on the church and forest (I think I mentioned 3 times what an idyll they have :)-take a look at the picture below and you will know what I am talking about, cycling on my dear tracks, looking at all the forests and hills on the way. I said to my mother, how much life our street at home has. She asked: "How do you mean it?" I responded: all of these animals around, not only our dog, but also anmals from our neighbours, everything is so green and cozy." Hiking with the girls an a saturday morning and cycling to the next place near my hometown in the afternoon. On the way meeting a guy for a drink and realize how relaxed and funny slovenian guys are! I think that guys in my region were just borned with this attitude :D Like, everyone is relaxed and funny. If I would have to describe slovenian guys, I would mention this. And that they are extremely sporty, of course :) In the nord everyone is hiking and in the south everyone is cycling, including me :)

Sunday idyll

I am currently located in Munich, before that I lived in Ingolstadt. I said that life in Bavaria can be nice and cosy (they claim that it is the best place in the whole country to live :D ). But Slovenia is in my opinion the definition of cosiness and beauty. Couple of times I was asked in Germany, if I am thinking about moving back to Slovenia someday. I replied that this is not the plan, so probably not, but also that you should never say never. When you have a partner somewhere else, of course you are not thinking about going back. You are thinking about staying with him there. Well, now I also changed my mind about this. Now I know that I am a person for cosy places, so Slovenia is a perfect place. And if happens that I get a nice job at home someday or love brings me home, who knows how I would decide and what I would do :)

My passion, cycling <3

I also understand now better people, who say that they don´t wanna move to some other city because of a job. Being flexible has its price. The last 2 years I was really flexible, in Austria and Germany. But also this can change by time.
Three days always go by too fast. Driving back to Munich I mentioned my impressions. We were all Slovenians, living in Munich. The driver said: "Well, you are the first one after a long time, who is saying something positive about our country." 
They don´t say Home sweet home for no reason, right? :) Place where you are again you :)

The feelings and relationships nowadays

The events in the last time and life in general made me think again. We live in the time of the so called crisis of values. Also when it comes to relationships. So many of them fall apart, because people just give up. Furthermore, I really think that every human being should have a basic knowledge about psychology! Because people nowadays so often complicate and destroy beautiful relationships just because they are not able to express and talk about their feelings. I had luck, I have to say. At the colledge I chose psychology as a subject. It was not just a subject, I am convinced I had one of the best professors in the world. She did not only had a PhD in  Law, but also a PhD in psychology. She could gave us an example from a real life for literally every sentence she mentioned. (if anyone is still doubting about the level of the slovenian colledges-let me tell you, they are on a high level!) And somehow I still have a feeling that I studied psychology and not law actually :) I remember, that I held a speech about feelings and this topic to some of my former boyfriends. And they have always listened to me with an interest :D

What is sad nowadays in my opinion is, that (so many) people are emotionally illiterate. By this I mean, that they do not know or are not able to express their feelings. People simply don´t know, that they will not feel the butterflies, or in other words-be on a honeymoon for their whole life. No, you for sure will not be! The first phase of a relationship is called infatuation. It is a short feeling, which normally lasts about 1,5 years and is very intense. After that, people develop the "real" feeling, which is called love. This phase is not intense anymore, because you see the other one through the "real" glasses and lasts long(er). This means, that some people think they don´t love their partner anymore, because the butterflies are gone. Yeah right! If it would have been so, then every couple would break up after the honeymoon phase! So, it is just the matter of if one is able to develop real feelings or not. This can happen after 1,5 years or after 25 years of marriage. It is sad in every case. Imagine a family with 3 children (more or less already adults), when all of a sudden the man decides that this is not love anymore. Like out of nowhere. Though you have 4 people, who would be prepared to discuss the situation, talk about it and nevertheless suggest and try to find solutions. But one is out of some reason just not prepared or even worse, able to talk about it. We are talking about people and relations here, not about things! And when it comes to problems and crisis, people just give up. Because it´s easy to give up. But they are not aware that crisis are only an opportunity to come stronger out of them. An opportunity to take things to a higher level! There are people, who, after facing some crisis, found out, that this is a relationship of their lives!!
Even harder, when one has knowledge about the topic and is willing to do his best, but there is just no feedback on the other side. And also the most beautiful fairytales in this world fall apart. Just like this, from today to tomorrow.
I read somewhere the following quote: "People were created to be loved. Things were created to be used. The reason why the world is in chaos is because things are being loved and people are being used." Maybe not exactly used, but really far away from it is not.
More readiness for a constructive discussion, please. We only have this one life, which is short!

The best years

As long as I remember, I believed that the 20s are the best years in ones life. Parties, studying, no real obligations. This definitely changed this year. To be more particular, in June/July, soon after my 30th birthday. I somehow got a new perspective of life. Things, that were fuzzy not long ago, suddenly became clear. My perception of life changed, I know exactly what I want in life and what is really important.
Probably also living abroad since 2 years contributed a lot to this state of mind. In fact, all the experiences, people, challenges that life put on my way. All the job interviews, difficulties when trying to speak german on a level of your mother tounge. Not easy, especially when you have to talk to the professionals about the specific topics.
A feeling that you have never been stronger in your life and that you could survive anything. Literally. Abroad you are on your own, there are no "connections" or B Vitamin which is extremely popular in Slovenia. You have to be a fighter. And work hard. Work hard for things that were self-evident at home, which you reached easily. Like someone said already: you feel like a child, who is learning again how to express himself. And when already finding your way home in a new city is a challenge! New city, new country, hard language. Maybe even 2 new cities, because it can happen that your partner lives in another city. And again you have to coordinate, organise your life in a new dimension.

You get aware of your own value. The way you have gone. All the ups and downs. Life would for sure have been easier by staying in a comfort zone. I guess.
You are more than ever interested in the intelligent conversations. Conversations with the depth, about life, psychology, philosophy. Conversations that fulfill you.
You realize that your job is just a job. A duty, which you have to do on a daily basis to be able to survive. To be honest, I feel sorry for people whose sense of life is work. Shortly before dying, nobody regreted that they didn´t have a good house or car. People regreted that they worked too much and didn´t enjoy life and spend enough time with their beloved ones.
Family: when the visits reduce to 1 or 2 times per year, you see them differenlty. Seeing them is a special occasion, an extraordinary weekend, which always goes by too fast. Seeing your sister after almost one year for 24 hours makes you realize what a wise woman she became. And you talk til 1 a.m. because you have to discuss all the wisdom of the world :) You realize that family is the only constant which will always be there, though the members can be located in 3 countries. When things are not self-evident, you start to really value them.
You feel that you have stories to tell, lessons to forward on someone. Maybe on your (future) kids.
It all starts and ends with the family and with the feeling of coming home. Of being arrived. And if on the way you meet the guy of your life, you have everything. <3